


Besotted Freedom

by batboybot



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Guilt, M/M, Rare Pairings, References to Canon, References to Depression, References to Drugs, References to anxiety, Sad and Happy, alcohol use, finally something that isnt super depressing, just two guys being guys nothing new here folks, miu iruma is mentioned like once to show how oblivious rantaro is about himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28166865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batboybot/pseuds/batboybot
Summary: Love changed for Amami - began with adoration which soon lead to hatred and hopelessness, those shattered pieces being slowly mended by the man that chose to lay by his side despite his hidden, sharp pieces.Rantaro's POV
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito (mentioned)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Besotted Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sick and I'm miserable so I decided to cheer myself up by writing this pairing since there's surprisingly not a lot of these two :( just indulging myself on something that looks really cute. 
> 
> I also want to give a heads-up that this isn't supposed to be sexual in any way, which will be questionable considering the lines I've written but the spiteful side of me was annoyed at the pages of smut so two loving bf's sounds like a yes to me. horny mf's smh
> 
> I was considering tagging Rantaro as asexual but I'm still mixed on his sexuality, so better to not mislead anyone just in case SORRY IN ADVANCE SINCE IT MAY BE MESSY

If he was asked to describe love, Rantaro wouldn't really have a concrete answer.

Some days he would decide it would be much like a rollercoaster, the build up to the steep drop that then causes such a rush in your bones as you feel yourself suddenly drop. The adrenaline causes you to scream in both terror and joy as the ride throws you through twists and turns before quickly slowing to a stop leaving you high on such an accelerating moment, weak in the knees causing you to be semi confined in the seat yet wanting to experience it all over again. 

Rare moments gives him a mental picture of the rollercoaster malfunctioning and throwing people off the rails. 

Other days he thinks to those moments when he was at his lowest, the times where he would scream into his clenched fists and self inflicted blame shadowed his perception - only to be met with warm comfort by his acquaintances and parents as if they didn't know he was the cause of his sister's disappearance. Blind nurture sided with a closed mind felt so isolating and caused more turmoil than his previous state. Questioning if love was worth it if you had to forget rationality to help those who don't deserve it, throw away life goals just to be with someone much like he saw in the American rom-coms; which also showed abusive actions glossed over by shimmering diamonds and affection. Another thing he was also afraid of back then. 

Denial was probably the worst to get over, thinking back on it. Disregarding his mental health, thinking too much on everyone else's opinions and then forgetting to be a teen, putting all of his time into finding his sister's that he pretty much dug his own miserable grave. Maybe seeing how pathetic he looked crying at his reflection snapped Rantaro out of it, now slipping into a relaxed mentality whilst caring about his sisters and attempt to be a person too. Forever thankful it wasn't too late. If he kept himself within that smothered state, he wouldn't be where he was today. 

Kaede was a shock to his life that was welcome, her smile really did wonders and she seemed to make the whole room ten times livelier without even trying. He was at first confused when she got flustered after he complimented her character and smile, unfortunately realizing why after she made a few comments about his appearance. 

_ "I'm surprised you aren't in the bigger crowd, Amami." Kaede commented, her legs swinging back and forth as she sat across from him in the half empty classroom.  _

_ "Oh? Why?" He lifted an eyebrow as he watched her giggle at his confusion.  _

_ "I mean, you know how girls like guys who are on the alternative side." She shrugged. _

_ "...Wait what?" _

_ "Come on," She rolled her eyes in amusement and leaned against her chair, "Don't try to pretend like you don't flirt and find yourself unattractive." _

_ "I- Hang on, you thought I was flirting when I complimented Miu's skirt?"  _

_ "You weren't flirting?!" _

Despite the occasional awkward conversations, he was forever thankful he had the chance to meet her, his life wouldn't be as fulfilling as it currently is. His gaze mindlessly staring at the sleeping figure that somewhat curled towards him, expression peaceful compared to constant stress or exhaustion during the day. Lifting his hand, Rantaro carefully brushed the strands of dark hair away from his face, getting lost in his thoughts that he felt some guilt build up. 

_ "Hey Kaede! How did your show go?" _

_ Jumping, Rantaro shifted his gaze towards the boisterous voice and only saw purple for a moment. Picking apart the new person's appearance, the styled goatee and hair was nothing to choke at as the massive grin on the guy's face felt blinding in a fun way. _

_ "It went well, thank you Kaito! You did help with your words, the nerves would have ruined my night if you didn't stop me." Kaede smiles, her shoulders almost sagging which causes him to smirk a little, somehow catching Kaito's eye. _

_ "Oh, what's up bro?" He greats, hiding his obvious confusion leading Rantaro to smile and raise his hand. _

_ "Hey there. Rantaro, nice to meet you."  _

_ Kaito grins and immediately grasps onto his hand, giving Rantaro the firmest handshake he had ever received. "Nice too meet you too! I'm Kaito, but you probably heard that."  _

_ "Rantaro just came back from a trip, so he's a bit late to the school year." Kaede advised, wanting to clear up possible speculation. "He's also good friends with Korekiyo."  _

_ Kaito pulled a face and nervously laughed, looking at Rantaro with vague surprise. "Woah really? You into history or something then?" _

_ "Eh, you could say that." He chuckled lightly, shrugging his shoulders. "More of an explorer I guess."  _

_ "Oh awesome, gotta watch out for you then, Indiana Jones." Kaito joked. _

_ "Wasn't Shuichi with you?" Kaede suddenly questioned, Rantaro paying attention despite not knowing the stranger at all.  _

_ "Yeah, but he's trying to hide from a teacher at the moment- Hey! Shuichi! Get over here!" His abrupt shout startled everyone present, maybe even the stranger who wasn't even visible. He could feel the annoyance from the other already and hid his laughter quickly as students in the hallway glared at the unsuspecting male.  _

_ "Could you be any louder?"  _

_ The new voice definitely sounded annoyed, and seeing his face further confirmed his suspicions, the blushing face seemed slightly tense and seemed to glare holes into Kaito - who was just laughing at the stranger's misery.  _

_ "And let you get lost in the crowd again? No way dude! Your tricks don't work on me anymore."  _

_ "Thanks to you, the teacher will find him for sure." Kaede stated, causing Rantaro to chuckle, sensing a pair of eyes pry into him - trying to dig into his physical form to retrieve some forbidden secret lodged within his lungs.  _

It could have been much better, wishing it would have been a bit more romantic despite how ironic it was coming from him. Either way, it somehow lead the recluse teenager to him and soon to their shared bedroom years later. It was funny in a way, how someone like Kaito was the major catalyst in how he and Shuichi got together, then again it's even more comedic that he ended up woo-ing and marrying the girl that everyone classed as the scariest student to walk along Hope's Peak. A man of many wonders, as Maki would say as she would stare at her husband doing something stupid like trying to attach the washing line to the antenna, balancing on the roof of the house in a pair of loose sandals.

Blinking, he found his fingers twirled within the locks, the soft strands licking his fingers and of expensive silk, so perfect and so honoring to even be near the man before him. All of the hair was now brushed away from his face, the peace looked so captivating he wouldn't be surprised if he saw it in an art gallery with soft sculpted lips that sounded hesitant yet firm whenever he spoke a word. His cheeks that looked flushed half the time appeared cool, structured cheekbones and jawline that was so captivating yet seemed forbidden to kiss. Androgynous yet very much masculine, an urge to lean in and nuzzle his face within the neck of his significant other shimmered down to just a fleeting thought, only now wishing to brush his lips against Shuichi's beyond intoxicating ones. Shaking his head, Rantaro leaned back away from his form and face to the wall, the faint embarrassment and shame swimming within his organs. 

_ "What do you mean your sisters disappeared?" _

_ They sat across from each other, hidden within a random bedroom of someone's house they didn't quite remember as the party that was raging on would move onto another location quickly. Vibrations shook the walls and flooring, no doubt causing a drugged out guest to believe an earthquake was occurring as the music was so loud it was just ear-aching static. The bedroom wasn't free from the music and chaos outside, but it was a break from the strong stench of spirits and weed that stuck to the hallways with muffled sounds. He wasn't surprised at all when he found Shuichi in the room, nursing a can of beer and seemed as if he'd rather be in prison than an obnoxious party. _

_ The sight of the other staring vacantly at a fish tank and lost within his thoughts was so compelling that Rantaro stepped inside and locked the door behind him, not wanting someone to spoil the peace and break the anxiety for Shuichi. It was somewhat foggy at that point, not really remembering how they greeted each other and what they talked about, somehow it all lead up to Rantaro talking about his family and sisters. Massive thanks to the asshole that thought locking themselves inside the bathroom and boxing the aftermath of grass inside was the best idea.  _

_ "Well, just like I said, they disappeared. Gone with the wind, vanished like a flame..." Rantaro rubbed his eyes, everything felt hot yet ice cold as he felt his muscles develop a grin unwillingly. _

_ "Right... I was asking for a straight forward answer, not a Hollywood line." Shuichi huffed, his hand swirling the last of the drink around the can. "They got lost or...?" _

_ Rantaro giggled, leaning down onto his thighs as the sentence sounded so funny to him, the burning of tears began to build up in his eyes. Drunk Shuichi was blunt, almost snarky with how much he wanted to get answers for the smallest things, he wouldn't be surprised if he ransacked the room all in the name of curiosity.  _

_ "Well, I think so. I mean- It was my fault, they were with me and before I knew it- POOF!" He halfheartedly gestured with his hands, he would probably be curled in a ball crying his eyes out if he wasn't so out of it. "Tried finding them, no luck. Parents gave up, and I've been searching for them for uhh... A few years?" _

_ Shuichi simply stared at him, his expression void of emotion and continued fiddling with his can for a minute or two before sighing and drinking the last of it. "And you blame yourself for this?" _

_ "Why wouldn't I?" _

_ "Why?!" Shuichi groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This sounds like every other missing person's case, a child gets strayed away due to multiple circumstances and the parents blame themselves as if they were the ones who deliberately made the child go with some gang or something."  _

_ Rantaro frowned and sat up straighter. "But this is different, it's not normal to lose 12 sisters in different locations." _

_ "My point still stands," Shuichi slammed the empty can down on the coffee table, "Maybe your talent had some minor effect, but regardless on each sister you were not the one who caused this."  _

_ "They followed me-" _

_ "Where were your parents?" _

_ "...Huh?" _

_ Shuichi seemed more than fed up as he rolled his eyes hard and seemed to become slacken on the aged bean bag, Rantaro watching careless elegance. "They were there with you, it was their responsibility to watch over the children. Very neglectful, severely so in a foreign country. That is a number one rule in what you shouldn't do when you go on a family vacation."  _

_ It felt like what he said flew right past his head, somewhat taking in what was said but all he could think of is how it was all his fault that they were still missing, the cruel irony made him giggle again.  _

_ "Still, it's pathetic how I haven't found them yet. I feel like I'm going in circles, all those years were wasted." _

_ "Has it occurred to you that they wouldn't even be in the same locations anymore?" _

_ Rantaro paused, the question felt alien and he pulled a face, almost confused at what came out of Shuichi's mouth. Spotting his struggle, Shuichi shook his head and crossed his arms, blowing some hair out of his face.  _

_ "You'd be fucking terrible as a lawyer." _

_ For some reason, that made Rantaro laugh extremely hard, immediately clutching onto his sides and feeling most of the negative emotions fade with his faint anxiety over being stuck in a strangers house with crowds of people. Some tears escaped, staying by the corners of his eyes as he felt himself become overwhelmed by giddiness and euphoria, thinking how this was the first time he had laughed like this in years. Not sure how to feel considering it came from Shuichi who was definitely drunk and mildly pissed at Rantaro's depressing situation. Finally calming down, he fell onto his back, the bean bag barely supporting him as he dried the tears away. Looking up, he noticed Shuichi almost gawking at him, his cheeks flushed and eyebrows almost to his hairline as he scanned Rantaro up and down.  _

_ "What?" He asked, dumbfounded by the boy's change in emotion. _

_ "...Nothing much, you just have a great laugh..."  _

"Rantaro?"

Croaking, the male behind him slowly woke up and immediately noticed Rantaro. Looking over his shoulder, he watched as Shuichi sat up and rub at his eyes, probably questioning why he woke up when it was still dark outside. Hair fell back onto his face, his eyes squinted slightly and blurred as he turned to look at Rantaro who was still watching his every move. They locked eyes, silent as Shuichi tried gauging Rantaro's current state - his gaze digging into his psyche which he now welcomed rather than mutely scorn at years prior.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, just... Got stuck thinking about stuff." Rantaro swallowed, turning away as he faced the wall again, not really sure how to answer the question when he didn't fully understand himself. 

A hum, then a soft hand came onto his shoulder, grasping onto him gently yet so firm and Shuichi's chin rested on the other - the comforting warmth spreading across the left of his neck. Sighing, he soaked up the angelic presence and closed his eyes, turning his head and resting his lips upon hair that resembled a raven's feathers. They sat together like this for a moment, basking in each other's presence with the knowledge that they couldn't do this forever; the demands of adult life smothered their time together and rare moments like this was treasured inside connected hands. 

"What were you thinking about?" Shuichi asked in a low whisper, his breath tickling the skin beside him. 

"A lot of things... Mainly about you... Us..." He confessed, unsure if he made sense as he muttered the words into the locks he played with previously. 

He moved away when his head lifted, Shuichi's face level with his as they now breathed the same air, unbearably hot yet reposeful when the urge to kiss tranquilizing lips re-surfaced. Rantaro didn't dare to move, watching as Shuichi continued to analyse him, something that felt so invasive now felt comforting and alleviating, ablaze eyes now flickering with sparks of concern and something hidden that made Rantaro's heart shake. 

"Are you- Are you feeling alright?" The common question finally appeared, the hand lightly gripping onto his shoulder as he continued looking at Rantaro with an unknown look.

Rantaro paused, trying to find the right words to explain what was going on inside his head but soon stopped himself, it would be too much of a hassle to fumble around thoughts and feelings that wouldn't make sense in their exhausted states. Was it even something Shuichi wanted to hear? Would he just want to know what he was thinking at that very moment? Indecisiveness became a too familiar trait, struggling to put together a detailed explanation to what he was going through - wondering what he was feeling now. Safe, cherished, comforted, sleepy. Musing, he smiled at the other with crinkled eyes.

"I'm alright now."

That apparently seemed to be the best thing he could have said, seeing Shuichi smile softly and lean forward to press his lips against his own. His eyelids fluttered closed as he leaned into the kiss, his hand wandering to the man's waist and holding onto it weakly. Choking back a noise of surprise, he felt himself being pushed onto the mattress, feeling the pillows by his shins as Shuichi leaned above him. 

"It's good to hear you say that, you know?"

"Hm? Why's that?" Rantaro asked, the other placing his hands either side of him to keep himself balanced. 

"You seemed down for a while," Shuichi replied, his voice still hoarse but it sent waves of something oddly strange down his spine, "You weren't lying when you answered me." 

Gaze weakening out of affection, Rantaro rose a hand to tuck some strands of hair behind Shuichi's ear. "I wouldn't lie to you, as much as it hurts to open up about myself sometimes... I know I can trust you with my life." 

He was mildly interrupted by lips, letting out a sigh through his nose as he wrapped his arms around Shuichi's waist and took note of the small smile he felt on the other. Their chests met as Shuichi pressed up against him, pulling away slightly just to murmur 'I love you' before deepening the kiss - evoking a weak moan.

Does he have answer? No, and he was probably okay with not having an answer for the rest of his life. An image of a smile directed towards him as hands danced around his waist was all he needed: succour and bliss.


End file.
